Poker Face
by LuxaLovesLawnmowers
Summary: Oliver never did like playing poker...especially with the twins. Especially when they're winning. And especially when he's half-naked.


Disclaimer- i don't own Harry Potter.

Hello! It's been a little while since I wrote a Harry Potter fanfiction! Since that creepy Percy and Ron and wormtail one...eheheheheh (you might be thinknig very gross things, but all will be explained if you check it out).

It's my anniversary for my account! It is two years old today, so I thought I'd write you a little story, and since my first fanfiction was Harry Potter, about Fred and George, I figured I'd write another one (don't go read it, its awful).

Enjoy! :)

* * *

"You lose again, Ollie," snickered Fred, using his cards to fan himself. Fred and George were badly beating Lee Jordan and Oliver at a game of strip poker, who found this game the scariest the Muggles had ever invented.

"Don't call me that," huffed Oliver. "I'm older than you."

"And more naked," added George, grinning. "Two in one special."

Oliver grudgingly slipped a shoe off, and the twins booed.

"You wimp," tutted Lee, who was shirtless, and really shouldn't have the right to call Oliver a bad poker player. "Even I can play better than you."

"Yeah, but as soon as Ollie here is naked we're going after you," reminded Fred evilly. "And then the real battle begins."

"Hey," said Lee, thinking hard. "Oliver, do you wanna go to the house elves once we're out? They might not mind us being naked."

Oliver spluttered with indignation. "We can't do that! What about the Fat Lady? What if Filch sees us? You three are crazy."

"I'm sure the Fat Lady would be thrilled to see two fine male specimens as ourselves," shrugged Lee, a worrying glint in his eye.

"For that matter, so would Filch," added Fred.

Oliver shuddered. "That leads to a whole new set of problems."

"You don't want to be here when it's Fred versus George," added Lee hopefully. "It's intense."

"Then i'll just go back to my own dorm, where everything is quiet and peaceful," retorted Oliver, who knew as well as they did why he spent as little time as possible there.

"Yeah," chuckled George. "And go back to perfect Prefect Percy. You're lucky he's such a good sleeper, because I'm sure he'd put you in _detention_ otherwise!" George's tone was as mocking as it always was when referring to his older brother.

Oliver mumbled something stuffing a sock in it.

"That's not very nice!" gasped Fred, slapping a hand to his clothed chest in shock.

Oliver shook his head, smirking. "No, I meant that I usually stuff a sock in _Percy_. He's not that great a sleeper."

There was a silence as all there pranksters struggled not to make a joke. Finally, Lee broke the silence.

"What _part_ of Percy did you stuff it in?"

"The same place you stuff things in Filch." replied Oliver cheekily.

Lee gagged. "Ew...my childhood..."

"Why is Filch part of your childhood?" questioned Fred, concerned. "Should I be worried?"

"Ignore him," suggested George.

"Why?"

George laid down his hand. "Because he just lost. Again."

Still moaning about his childhood, Lee tugged off his pants and laid back down on the floor, face first.

"I'm too old to play these games with you..."

"Ancient," agreed Fred.

"Older than dirt."

"Decrepit."

"Practically senile."

"You _are_ senile."

"Thanks for your support, guys," grumbled Oliver. "Glad to know I can count on you."

"Hey," said Lee. "Remember when we used to-"

"Shenanigans," interrupted George, waving away Lee's comment. "All shenanigans."

Lee, used to the twins, continued regardless. "-we first got Harry to join the team."

Everyone else there seemed to remember it as McGonagall persuading Harry, but they were wise enough not to say anything.

"We were so desperate at the time..." sighed Oliver. "I think I would've sold my soul for a good Seeker..."

"Didn't you?"

"No, Fred," said George innocently. "He sold his _body_. Big difference."

"You will burn in hell." said Oliver calmly.

"Yep!" agreed Fred nad George happily. "And we'll have a hell of a time getting there!"

"I've heard them practice that in the shower," muttered Lee.

"Weird," said Oliver, then processed that statement. "You two take _showers_ together?"

"Lee!"

"We swore you to secrecy!"

"You son of a-"

"You're gonna die tonight!"

Oliver watched his friends fight (consisting of stealing the rest of Lee's clothes and tickling him senseless) and wondered if anything had really changed in the past two years.

Oliver chewed his lips and threw his cards down. If they had, he couldn't think of anything.

He still sucked at poker.

* * *

Reviews are love! :)


End file.
